I do things from the heart. This means that when my heart is settled on something and I have that happiness surge, I will do it. The idea to host a team of female leaders excited me from the time it was conceived. I was feeling happy after having attended a previous retreat. For me, that retreat meant I was starting a unique and much-needed journey.
Organizing the retreat was no easy feat. I sometimes wondered whether it was a good idea and if I could pull it off, I did not want to fail. I spoke to my family and asked for their support on this and luckily, each one of them said yes to my requests. They were sold on it.
When I heard that Joan Mugenzi and Grace Chivengere were among the guests, I was excited. I have known Joan for over 12 years. I had never met Grace until she showed up at my home. Also, seeing all the other ladies show up warmed my heart. And then, I started worrying about the food, the house (space), etc. If you’ve hosted guests, you can probably relate with the doubt that creeps in at that moment.
The discussions were very rich and revealing of the strength we have as individuals and as a collective. One of my major highlights was visiting Kyeibaare Girls’ Secondary School to talk and spend time with them. It was powerful to hear the ladies inspire and motivate and challenge the girls. And to think that this was not on the program! We just went for it. So I guess I am not the only spontaneous person in this bunch.
Back to Grace. She asked me about pain. I thought to myself, ‘‘Ka Winnie’ (as I am often called) has no pain. She knows no pain.’ As soon as Grace asked me, I immediately felt it but at that moment, I didn’t know what this pain might be or what could’ve caused it. The conversation with Joan also stirred me up. I had volunteered for a public demonstration of a coaching session. There I was, in front of everyone, being ‘dissected’ and bearing my soul. I celebrate those two ‘surgeons’.
Winfred Ngabiirwe aka ‘Ka Winnie’
I know now that I carry pain. Pain that I have been ignoring and covering up. One morning, as I stood there in the bathroom, I suddenly broke down and cried. I figured out where the pain came from. I remembered those things which hurt me and had been buried within. I remember an incident from when I was about 11 years old, then at 15, then at about 19, and then at around 20 years old. I remembered each time and each time, I somehow survived. How could I have been that lucky? Sometimes, I wonder how I even survived. Why did God protect me? Which God even protected me? I don’t know.
If there is anything I got from Mitooma, it was the courage to open up this part of my heart. I had never because I never thought about them and what they meant. I just moved on to the next book to read or a lesson to attend. I sat alone in a room writing this, crying. Crying because Grace asked. Because Belinda called me an open book. Because Joan saw me. Because every member of the Chakra village understood where I was coming from. I am very grateful that this happened. I celebrate hosting all of the sisters and I loved every bit of it. I appreciate the support of my family that thinks I am friends to superwomen and I agree with them! I celebrate you! I feel happier, lighter and blessed.
Learning all the steps we have taken as leaders was fulfilling. Thank you for sharing. The space that the village and sisterhood provide, for me, is out of this world. The sisterhood, the love, the smiles, and the tears, all in one.
Thank you for your generous contribution to send girls to school. I pray for those girls to be safe, in and out of school. For their dreams to come true. To be much better than us. To stop traffic; in the air, on land, sea and everywhere. Thank you, villagers.
By Winfred Ngabiirwe
Executive Director, Global Rights Alert
